jefferson starship, the cat

the handsome kitty that you see above is mr. jefferson starship and he is made of awesome. he's a bit of a chatty cathy as far as cats go but since he's been at my house for a while he's calmed down a lot more. he's a super handsome kitty and has a very distinguished face that is all male. currently he lives on my back porch but i'm saving up the money for the pet deposit and to have him fixed. it will be around $350-ish but for me it will totally be worth it. since i had cats growing up and adored them then it's wonderful to be able to share my life with one again. KidTerror was such a sweety about all the cat stuff and even was the one to name jefferson. i'm very fortunate to have a sweet man who helped me bring a sweet cat into our home (not quite there yet).

if jefferson turns out to be a champ as far as house-cats go then one day he may get a feline companion. i think it's important to have more then one cat for the social well-being of the cat when its humans are out of the house. i really hope jefferson minds his manners once he's in the house so i can get him a friend.


been a while.....

to make things short a-kon was not a lot of fun and i think that i'm going to stick to cons that have more stuff going on for them than just anime in the future. since the scope was so narrow and i'm not super into anime anymore i didn't have as much fun as i hoped and the stinky people didn't help either. the BO haze that i lived through has pretty much crossed off summer cons for me, i can't deal with BO.

in addition to the other issues a-kon was also super disorganized and the staff was not knowledgeable about any of the programing or the convention center which resulted in me not getting to see any of the doll related programing.

with all that being said Kid Terror, Kitty Niles, and i had a pretty decent time together. if it wasn't for them my time there would have been totally horrible. with them the whole experience wasn't a waste and i was happy to spend time with them.

at the con i saw so many nude dolls. it made me super sad that i didn't bring Lucan or Panda. They could have easily won prizes at the con doll contests (doesn't matter though since i could never find them) and i imagine they would have gained a few more fans. seeing all the sad dollies made me want to spend more time with mine. i'm going to go through their clothing more strictly later this summer, clean and re-string them and paint their faces again when i get the chance.

not much else going on besides that....


a-kon planning

i just started seriously preparing for a-kon coming up next week and it is crazy. KidTerror will be attending with me as well as 3 friends and one random person whom i don't really care to become acquainted with.

both room reservations (at different hotels) are reserved in my name and that is something that i most likely won't do again. it means that i have to have a total of 779.70 in my account when i go to check in, that normally isn't a biggie but it kinda sucks since i have to round up money. the next time i go i'm going to delegate things out so that i'm not the one booking the hotel and being responsible for most of the money handling.

KidTerror was added to the bunch recently and i'm super happy he's going with me, i think i'll have even more fun with him there and we'll have a hotel room to ourselves which will be pleasant.

i'm anticipating a good trip and i'm going to work to try and make it as stress free as possible, my only wishes so far are that i had let KidTerror on the list earlier (things would be way cheaper) and that i saved more money. the good thing is i've already paid all my bills for the month except rent, so it will be ok to be poor during the rest of june....

a little note on my eyebrow shaving experiment....don't shave your eyebrows because you will look odd without them and it take a while for them to grow back in.....


ugh pissed off...

i just checked my final grades and everything was fine except for one WTF grade....my painting professor gave me a C......i have no idea where that is coming from, but i do know that it pisses me off. it seems really arbitrary since i produced a fair amount of paintings and came to class and often times painting during lunch.....bleh.

other than that i got a good surprise for my math grade, i made a B and i'm pretty damn proud of it. sculpture was a B, which is good considering i had many setbacks with my projects and health was an A because it was the easiest college class i've ever taken.

i'm trying to be happy about my grades because they are fairly good and nothing to gripe about but the C really gets to me.

right now my GPA is at a solid B but i really want that A so i plan on buckling down even more during the fall but i don't really think that it will be that difficult to do since i've been much more focused with my medication. my doll hobby has also become more passive so i don't have that to preoccupy me as much as it did during the early part of the spring semester.

i'm going to try and focus on  getting my act together more during the fall, i know that i'm not a C student and i want to work hard and not have to see another grade that i know i could have done something about. fall will mean that i live in the art building but i know that it will pay off.


i shaved my eyebrows off....

heh before you think i'm crazy it's been something that i've been considering for a long time so it wasn't too much of a snap decision....but it was a little hasty.

it may sound odd but i really like drawing them on and it isn't near as hard as one would think. today was my first day having them and they aren't really that mismatched at all, i only notice a slight dissimilarity between the two but at a glance they look perfect.

i've got tired of the constant plucking i had to do to keep my eyebrows under control and i wanted the freedom to decide however i wanted my eyebrows to look so it seemed the best option to me. it will be super fun trying out new styles and shapes.

i'll update with pictures in a few days or so....


oh my...

i have been super busy since i last blogged! i am officially finished with the spring semester and since i not longer qualify for financial aid (made too much money last year) i dropped my classes for the summer and fixed my fall schedule so i'm out of the digital class. i don't really have much interest in that area so there was no love lost. in its place i'll take the ceramics and jewelery instead, it is actually something i'm interested in so it's pretty exciting.

my computer recently recovered from a virus (the trouble only lasted a day but it was scary), and since i got some sweet norton computer protection software at a steal i'm happily protected for a year. i've run a few scans and already my computer is running faster....who knows how many viruses and issues my laptop had....and since it's pretty much a dinosaur (made 2004) i imagine it was pretty bad.

other news....summer is here, a-kon is approaching, and my hair growing quest is going smoothly, it's really dark with some henna hi-lights and growing in healthy. it's been a really rewarding hobby and i'm looking forward to a possible growth increase that summer normally gives me.

other summer plans... since i won't be going to school i'm going to work and getting my house in order and cleaning out more house-hold clutter. i also want to sell off some doll stuff and some of my DVD's, take advantage of the student rec center, work on some art stuff, and start to plan out some tattoo ideas. it plans on being a very enjoyable summer and i'm looking forward to it.

that's really it for the moment, i'll try to have some pictures of my spring art projects up soonish but who knows when that will be.....


mutterings on henna

taking care of my hair has been super rewarding for me thus far. i feel better about my appearance and the condition of my hair has improved immensely. i have also discovered henna and have bought some in hopes that it can save my damaged ends and keep me being an unnatural red-head.

more on henna (because i found it interesting).....henna is a desert herb grown in regions such as india, pakistan, and yemen to name the ones off the top of my head. it has been used since the bronze age to dye hair and to also create temporary tattoos, among other uses. the coloring properties of henna are due to it's lawsone content, an organic substance that has a burgundy coloring. the henna also bonds to the protein in hair so it's permanent. i was wary of this at first but once i knew that i could adjust the henna stain on my hair with varied applications i was more at ease. my hair forum is constantly talking about the benefits of henna for damaged hair so i thought that it would be the best bet for me, i get to keep my hair, save the ends, and remain an unnatural red-head. it's a great solution to my hair woes.

just thought i'd share those little tidbits......


all registered for summer and fall!

when i first wanted to look at the class schedule a week or so ago all the classes i needed were doubled booked on times so i wasn't able to get any of the classes i needed. luckily they have fixed all those errors and i was able to get the hours i needed!

M/T/W/TH: June 8th through July 7th: Short Story 10:30 am to 12:30 pm
M/T/W/TH: July 11th through August 11th: Ceramics and Jewelery 1:00 pm to 3:00 pm
M/W/F: Watercolors 10:00 am to 11:50am
M/W: Life Drawing 1:00 pm to 3:50 pm
T/TH: Art History I 10:50 am to 12:05, and Digital Print-Based Media 1:00 pm to 3:50 pm

it looks like i will be quite busy summer and fall......


because i'm not obsessed enough...

just spent a hefty amount on more hair stuff. i bought:
  • evening primrose oil
  • jojoba oil
  • avocado oil
  • camellia oil
  • tuberose fragrance oil
  • rose absolute oil in jojoba oil
  • rose floral water
i attribute this splurge to becoming really tired of smelling like coconuts. meh it wasn't really even that, it was the smell of the coconut oil after it had been on a day that got me, i could describe it as, "old lady with coconut suntan oil," gross. i'm hoping that i can combine some of the other oils i bought with the coconut oil to offset the smell. i also went a little crazy because finding good quality rose products at affordable prices is really hard. at other places i looked at for a little bottle of anything with rose EO's was around $65.00....luckily i found a good place to buy from that carries a great variety of DiY beauty supplies.

so far my hair obsession has been rewarding, although i know it is draining on those who surround me....*sorry everyone*.......

in other more interesting news *heh not* i finally bit the bullet and got back to art and started work on my subtractive plaster piece. i had many reservations about trying out a new material but i quickly warmed up to the plaster as i like to carve and my plaster still has a pretty good moisture content. as for the subject of my sculpture, it is an abstract figure, i'm really thankful for that since it's my first time doing work in plaster but i look forward to trying more challenging things with it. 

blah blah blah.....other stuff to note, my baby sister's birthday party is this coming weekend! it was super fun to buy her presents and i think i went a little overboard. i got her a barbie with an interchangeable head (yeah totally would have LOVED that as a little girl), extra doll head (did i mention they both have crazy hair?), and a bunch of outfits for all of her barbies'. i really loved barbies as a child and still like them so picking out her birthday presents really was a delight for me.

once my new hair stuff comes in and my sculpture looks more like a human being (instead of legs attached to a block of plaster) i will post some pics since my blog is lacking in those lately. but for the time being doll pics will have to do!

both wigs are new and Panda has new eyes in, i don't know how i feel about them.....


new heights (or should i say lengths) in hair obsession....

as of a couple of weeks-ish ago i have started growing out my hair. this decision has created a HAIR OBSESSION for me......i am obsessed with growing out my hair and it has become an issue that i can't help but think about....and instead of trying to amuse myself and think about something else i'm just going to talk hair on here.

my hair care routine has grown a ton! but i also think that the quality of products i use are a lot better. i'm officially CO (conditioner-only) and my hair seems to be enjoying it so far. i also stopped brushing when wet and use my wide toothed comb instead. i also have purchased a BBB (boar bristle brush, to distribute oil and add shine) but turns out it has some nylon that my hair catches on so i will be replacing it soonish. coconut oil, and oils in general have become my friends, they may be product that has done the most for me so far.

my current hair goals are to continue to keep growing with minimal trims and no hair cuts for until i get to my desired length, around mid-back. i plan on doing this by protecting all the damaged parts by oiling, trying to keep my hair protected by wearing it up, researching homemade hair-care recipes, doing leave-in treatments weekly, and keeping a semi-permanent hair color in like a red hued manic panic dye.

while growing out my hair i'm going to stop bleaching the roots and allow my hair to rest for a couple of months to a year. lately i have done a ton of damage to my hair and i realized that if i want it to be long i have to start taking care of it.

that being said, i will still have some wild color in my hair but it will be limited to reds and purples, with the occasional blue used.

if i were to have any reasons to grow my hair out it would be that i'm ready to project a more feminine persona to others. i consider myself very feminine but understand that my hair doesn't really speak that and i would like to have it back again. other reasons include a feeling of security. although it has been a long time since i've had longer hair i do remember the sense of security it gave me as well. i also think that i'm able to actively grow my hair because i'm in a loving relationship with KidTerror. many if not most of my hair chops have come right after men troubles so being with KidTerror and knowing that we are a stable loving, and encouraging pair gives me the confidence to undertake this personal goal of mine. that being said i'm growing out my hair for ME, it just helps that i have a supportive and loving partner in KidTerror.

that's all i really have for now....hooray for goals!


pleasant weekend with the family

so far my spring break has been super pleasant! right now i'm visiting my family in the boonies and i've been enjoying my little sister immensely. she's nearly 4 so she's at a really fun age. we've spent the weekend in our pj's, napping together, coloring, and watching movies. she also told me that i need to visit her more and to bring my dolls next time since they, "miss her," she said. all in all my weekend has been restful and great, that being said i'm looking forward to heading home tomorrow to see KidTerror (mwah~), pack up some dolls to ship out, and to re-color my hair.

going home this weekend has been my good luck charm for selling dolls, i was able to sell both my dollmore girls to one person and i have another user interested in my big dollshe boy. it will be so nice to get my doll area a little less cluttered. the extra hobby money is also a big plus too, but since i don't have any immediate doll plans or alot of time to play with my current ones, i think i'm going to try and wait on finishing my group. the total of 7 is now back to 4, with all of them being boys. i just don't bond with girl dolls like i do the boys, they don't have the 'pull' like my boys do. since i've been more active in the doll community i've been missing Lucan and Panda, so it will be nice to see them tomorrow in addition to all the other nice things waiting for me at home.

right now i only have two more dolls planned, a suntan dollmore pado boy, who is a definite, since he was one of the ones i wanted when i chose Lucan. the other doll that i'm thinking about is either a u-jee or a paran boy to be Panda's boyfriend.. its hard for me to decide between the two since i'm not sure if i truly like u-jee's eyes.....the paran sculpt has extra appeal since he would be a tiny bit more feminine that Panda (yes it is possible for that to be so). the more i think about it the more paran seems the better option, but i'm going to try and give it some more time before i click the 'buy' button, the same goes with the suntan pado, although he is a definite purchase, i may spoil myself with him when the first summer session of classes starts, but i'm going to try and be good and thin out my doll stuff and try and sell some it so when i bring the last two home, the area they live in won't be a mess......i know it's alot of fuss over pretty pieces of plastic but i truly enjoy them so fussing over them is fun for me.

when i dye my hair tomorrow-ish i'm going to try and be thrifty and use the red colors that i already have at home. i'm not too sure how they will take with the little of blue i still have in my hair but i'm pretty sure that the red will overpower the blue. or i may get a nice gradient effect where my hair starts purple and fades to pinkish red. who knows! i like that about doing my hair, not knowing exactly how my hair will take the dye is always a nice suprise.

that's all i really have for now, i'm looking a lazy start in the morning, goodbyes to my dad and baby sister, and then heading home~


ready for spring break.....

.....that being said i still have to work the whole time but at least i don't have school on top of work...

life has been tiring for me lately, i've felt really worn out so i think the break from school next week will really do me some good. i also plan on watching alot of tv and napping during the hours i'm off from work, so it promises to be fairly relaxing despite the 9 to 5, or in my case 4 to 12.

classes have been fine. i made a 96 on a surprise health midterm, which was awesome and have taken my first math test as well as completed my first sculpture project. wednesday i plan on casting plaster for my subtractive piece and then trying to come up with a design. it's the part that i'm not so excited about...

no new doll news. i have been neglecting them and have been toying with the idea of putting them back in their boxes for a while, since i've been too busy to fuss with them.

i do have news regarding my hair though! i mentioned a few posts back about trying oil treatments to help the condition of my hair and i tried two oils (forgive me if i already talked about the first one, i'm a wee bit grumpy and suffering from the headache that won't quit). the first one was olive oil and it didn't do anything, and it didn't smell very good. the second one i did was this past weekend and it was with coconut oil, it worked really well and smelled great (i love, love, LOVE coconut). it left my hair feeling very soft and manageable, i think i'm going to keep using this on the weekends for deep treatments and for everyday use as a sort of conditioner, shine-restorer, and hair protectorate. i don't really know if that last word was correct but i don't care enough to mess with it.

more on hair.....fading my blue to a color where i can put neon green over is a long process. the longer it takes the more i think about just dyeing over with a darker color. i'm trying to do it just by washing it normally but even that is taking a long time, and since my hair is damaged i don't need to be washing it alot since that creates alot of wear and tear on the hair. i'm thinking that the coconut oil will be the magic item that saves my hair during this time. i plan oiling my hair with coconut oil during the day so the damaged parts remain moisturized and then washing at night and re-oiling a tiny bit before bed as a sort of leave in conditioner. my hair is super porous so it should soak up most of the oil while i sleep. weekends will entail that i do a hot oil treatment and a normal shampoo and conditioner. i haven't decided if i'll oil as a leave in on the weekends since my hair doesn't really get too damaged then.....eh who knows....

i always feel like a dork rambling on about my hair but it's a hobby (i think it qualifies as one) that i enjoy a lot and that always perks me up.

other than the massive hair ramble i don't have much to add. today is a monday. i am ready to be done with work. i am grumpy. i miss KidTerror.



cat vomit

this week has been a wee bit unpleasant so i though the title should reflect that and i think since cat vomit is really foul so it's pretty fitting to me.

i am off lexapro and on zoloft now or sertraline, which is the generic. i don't have anything to report about it so far since i start it tonight but i will definitely talk about it once i start it. i'm just hoping for no horrible migraines or nausea.

my aztec man bust is now more for the most part. due to the crappiness of the art departments tables he is severely disfigured and currently decapitated. the table collapsed just as i was about to get him ready to store. it happened in slow motion and i stood there shocked for a moment before the cursing commenced. i was so loud that my professor came to see what had happened. i hope she remembers this incident when she grades my final one.....

in painting there's nothing to report other than i need to paint more~

i am still sickly. i don't know how this mega-cold thing found me but i really wish it would leave as my nose is raw from blowing my nose and my throat is tired of being sore. i don't feel as bad as wednesday but i'm still not 100%.

i can't wait to get off from work in an hour and forty minutes-ish. i'm ready to pester KidTerror, try a new hair treatment, and maybe have a drink to cap off the crap-tastic week.

since KidTerror let me know that he does indeed read this, i would like to say thank you. thank you for putting up with my crazy moods, cheering me up, and being the better half of us. i really don't know where i would be without you.

shuffling on back to less mushy things (mwah sweety), i am super pumped about the new hair treatment i'm going to try out. its just warm olive oil (or coconut oil if you can find it) applied to dry hair and left to set. since i spend a lot on hair treatments and products it would be awesome to find something so cheap that actually works. the reviews online are glowing (especially for coconut oil, some claim it stimulates new hair growth, doubtful but interesting) so i think it's a safe bet for me to try it. it even got good marks on the alternative hair forum i lurk in. so if it work i'll be sure to tell everyone i know, which means it will be talked about here tomorrow or sunday *tee hee*.

other weekend plans......i want to eat something really delicious and bad for me. i haven't decided what it will be but it's a definite goal. ummm what else, paint some, do some doll stuff, clean up the house a bit, play some castlevania symphony of the night, and try to get well. i think it looks like a full weekend.

off to trapeze about the internet some more before i get to go home~

******NOTE****** i just looked and this is my 27th post of the year.....huzzah that means it's special since 27 is my number, silly but i thought i'd share****************


feeling poopy

as the title says i've been feeling poopy lately.....at the moment i have a sore throat that i'm worried might be strep and despite having gone to the doctor for my mental issues no other drugs other than cold medicine are in my system....it's a shame because i NEED something....i had been prescribed lexapro and it disagreed with me in many ways and didn't do the trick so i'll be asking for something different when i go back in friday morning.

this semester i have been really proud of KidTerror and i. we have been going to class and keeping up with all our obligations and although it's tiring and means we are always busy it's nice to get things done for a change rather than be constantly stressing over things that could have been done on time.

i visited the family last weekend and had a good day out with my mammi and aunt mary. i also got to see my little sister, dad, and my step-mom. all in all it was a good weekend but it wasn't relaxing so i'm looking forward to this weekend so i can do some housework and catch up on some sleep.

art news.....my sculpture looks mayan or aztec-esque. it wasn't planned but evolved out of wanting a face with a strong nose. he's very different from the other sculpture so i think that will give me the edge when he's graded but that's if i can finish him this week. in painting i don't have anything special to report....i'm in a slump and don't really like what i'm doing but i bought some new canvases, acrylic glaze, and acrylic paint workable media that extends the drying time of the paint so i'll have to experiment with those. i'm hoping that i can feel inspired again once i get my health issues fixed.

oh more on sculpture, for my end project i kinda want to make a very large tongue. yes it's odd but i think it would be very amusing and fun to make. KidTerror got some interesting bubble wrap in with a package and the the texture just got my wheels turning. so either the tongue or a figure will be my end project, i haven't decided yet but i'm  eagerly anticipating it.

no dolls news to report, all my darlings have been sitting neglected as i go about my life but i'm sure i'll find some time for them this weekend.

big news (that i nearly forgot to mention), i'm going to A-KON 22 this year!!! it will be my third year to go and they are having my favorite visual kei band, D, play as well as an attached doll convention. once i knew all those details i had to go and i'm really excited for it.

that's all i have for now but i would like to share todays' motto: "Make today your bitch."

pretty sweet motto.....



i'm too sleepy to come up with a title. i suppose that's what happens with 8am classes and reading all of, "World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War." it was a valentines present from KidTerror and it was chosen very well, i suspect it took me around 5 hours of solid reading to finish it. i would have managed to accomplish this in one sitting had i been able to ignore all obligations but i'm pretty pleased the time it took me and how awesome the book turned out to be. most people would probably find it frightening and strange but i was fascinated with the realistic depiction of zombies. it was refreshing and very engaging. i'll definitely re-read it.

this past weekend was wonderfully spent with KidTerror and we remained fairly sequestered in our house which always makes the weekend more enjoyable. we had a valentines day early where i received a TON of chocolates and a hilarious and sweet card:

if you find the awesome nature of this card incomprehensible then by all means look up "hentai."

the card was and still is my favorite part about this valentines day because to me it says alot about KidTerror and why i love him. he's a quirky, funny, clever, and caring man that i feel privileged to have in my life. i know it's cheesy but i really think we have a 'forever love' and i look forward to experiencing it with him for as long as i can.

i also dyed some silk hankies, although i think i might need to dye more. any thoughts?

although they aren't really my colors i like the way they blend and it was fun to paint the hankies.

i love my grumpy dolls, too bad Panda's eyes were too wonky to photograph him....


what happened to being warm?

i miss being warm so much.....

i have random pictures to share!

some of the yarn i dyed with hope, i really like the bright colors. it reminds me of candy and spring.

some of that yarn in action, notice how a ssk is in the wrong spot, ugh.

my purse/catch all bag, i bought it around x-mas and i really love it.

Hazel's new outfit! I really like it and wish that i could find cute fabric like that (the fabric is imported from Japan, it has little alice in wonderland themed cards on it!)

a finished knit! it's just a simple garter stitch headband but i recently found out that it works well as a cowl or neck-warmer.

i also did some online shopping today and i bought some cute stuff. i bought four dresses from urban outfitters and i'm looking forward to them coming in the mail.

i would one-day like to have many everyday dresses in my wardrobe so it was pretty exciting to pick these few up. with this being said, it was a wee bit pricy but if the fit is good i won't be bothered by that.

other news.....i had a sit down talk about my engagement ring with KidTerror. while i think the ring is pretty i finally broke the news to him that i don't think it fits my personality or style. true to form, Kid Terror was very understanding and sweet about the whole thing! he's pretty much perfect to me and i was really happy to get that secret off my chest since it had been sitting there like a large cat since last june! as far as my ring style, i like antique rings and also like colored stones. i don't think that there should be any 'set' design or guidelines for an engagement ring. i'm just really happy that i can look for something that looks like me and my personality, fits my tiny finger (i didn't think it was little but i now know that 4.5 is indeed small), makes me happy when i see it, and reminds me how much i'm in love with KidTerror.....


pleasant sunday

i just got back from dropping hopey-dopey (my sister) back home and we had a pretty good day. we did some artsy stuff with watercolors:

dyed doll wigs and yarn:

oh and we may have irritated KidTerror just a bit.....


i named my flocke, hazel. i really love her and i'm surprised how bitchy she came out looking but that's what happens when i acquire a sculpt that everyone thinks is so sweet, i tend to turn it in an entirely different direction.



if there was a hell mine would consist of forever waiting to get off from work. that's what i'm currently doing right now and it sucks the big one. so i decided to blog to distract myself from the prospect of booze, knitting, and KidTerror, all lovely things that await me at home.

i really like my flocke. i don't know much about how i'm going to style her yet but so far i know, she won't be a pants-wearing girl. hair length and color as well as eye color are all up in the air as of now, as well as a name. i ramble on about my dolls too much....

my art paper is done, as of 11:02 this evening. it wasn't really hard to write but it seemed tedious since i thought that writing was more or less out of the question this semester. it is comforting to know that this is the only thing that i'll have to write though......

i'm ready to begin the weekend. my plans include cleaning my house, picking up my area (where i keep my dolls, books, art supplies, and knitting/crocheting supplies), watching a movie or two, finishing my knitted hat (no pattern to speak of, but i will post it when it's done), doing my taxes if i get my forms in, and possibly grabbing my sister and taking her out for a bit. it's all pretty dull but it's my plan and i'm pretty pleased with it. oh i also forgot to mention that i might dye some yarn and start some socks, but that's only if i feel super crafty.

i hope KidTerror and i don't get on each other's nerves this weekend...we've had 4 snow-days so we've been cooped up for a while. i enjoyed the snow days since i had a chance to catch up on my laundry but once the pipes in my kitchen froze i was pretty much over it. KidTerror enjoyed the time off from classes the whole time but i imagine it is awesome if you can keep yourself entertained. i lack that capacity at times so after i wasn't able to clean all i wanted i became pissed off....

i bought some silk hankies last night, and i am very excited about them. i have limited experience in different fibers so 100% silk is a pretty big thing for me. i'm looking forward to the sheen of the fiber and seeing how it takes dye. i may save them for a rainy day once i get them since i have a lot of other dyeing projects.

oh another note for this weekend, i get to paint flocke's face! i think once i do this a name will come naturally and then a rough idea of her personality, but until then she's just a blank canvas that i get to ponder about....


babies are false advertising

i hear a lot about people having babies and getting married and truthfully i'm glad i'm not there. KidTerror and i are engaged and committed but having babies is the last thing on my mind....babies are cute and all i suppose but to take on that responsibility at this point in my life fills me full of sheer terror.

i dunno where all that mess came from but it's probably inspired from all the stuff on fb. bleh babies.

it's the 3rd snow day and tomorrow will be the fourth.....i'm over it. not having water in my kitchen is maddening and i'm tired of being cold all the time.

i put the issac head up for sale, i feel bad about it since i was excited when i bought it but i have to remember that it was on impulse and once i remember that i don't feel bad anymore. i'm going to try and not stray from my dolly plans anymore since it never works out.

boring post.....i think i'll knit.


sculpture overload

meh i just got through writing the first part of a sculpture paper. what i thought to be just a simple copy-paste paper turned out to take much longer and be much more in depth. i'm not sure if i really learned anything new though....i don't consider myself an art scholar but many of the names of the artists and pieces were all too familiar. i noted that none of them were women but that was mostly due to the time period. meh.

snow days are sapping my energy. i'm not well equipped for the cold and neither is my house so it's been a bit of a trial to stay warm. the pipes in my kitchen are also frozen so cleaning the kitchen was out of the question. it made me intensely angry so i took that anger out on the laundry, which i am happy to report is nearly completed.

my ass-hat tendencies emerged again today but i've got the situation under control and i'm going to try and make an appointment tomorrow. i'm tired of friction between KidTerror and i due to the fact that i've pretty much become a basket case. i'm also tired of being constantly upset and not functioning the way i know i can. it basically time for a big change and although i'm apprehensive i'm ready to get the ball rolling so i can start feeling better and acting better to those around me ( i don't mean to be such an ass KidTerror)....

i put flocke together today and she is a cutie! she kicky as hell though, her arms are too tight and her legs are too loose. i'll try to fix that this weekend along with giving her a face-up. since she came together she has definitely beaten out the isaac girl that i brought home not too long ago. i feel like the isaac girl was an impulse purchase...eh i KNOW that the isaac girl was an impulse purchase....her eyes are way too big and even though she has a cute little smirk i don't think she's going to last.

it always sounds like i'm getting rid of dolls left and right all willy nilly but i don't see the point of keeping something like that around if it isn't exactly what i want. my boys, through some tweaking, have become exactly what i want them to be and i go by the rule that if a doll doesn't go with them then they have to go. it has alot to do with facial feature proportions. i never keep any doll that can wear a size 16mm eye and above. i like my dolls to be semi-realistic and eyes that large just aren't for me. i want my dolls to be more in the uncanny valley than to resembly anime characters. in case you weren't aware i'm very much over the small mouth, tiny nose, big eyes formula and happily so....

so i'm basically trying to say in my round-about way that i'm nearly certain that the isaac head will be leaving my house shortly on the way to someone that goes for the larger eyes. i know it makes me sound flakey but i don't care.

currently my doll line up goes:
DMK Aidan- Lucan
DMK MOMO tanned- Panda(monium)
DMK Flocke- unnamed but looking at winter themed names, to commemorated her icy arrival.

planned dolls include:
DMK Cecile (gitl)
DMK U-Jee (Panda's boyfriend)
DMK Pado tanned (boy)
DMK Paran tanned (Lucan's lady)

this would give me a total of seven doll which would not only satisfy my desire for an odd number of dolls but also cater to my intense love of the number seven. any more dolls would be too many and any less would just irritate me. i enjoy my doll hobby because it allows me to indulge in all of my little quirks and exert absolute control.

cecile, pado, paran, u-jee


"insert witty blog post title here"

tonight i feel pleasant, i just got talking to a dear friend of mine and i have another snow day to look forward to!

other exciting things, include the arrival of my flocke head. she's really cute and i can't wait to give her a face-up. i really hope she looks good with my boys. my other girl, ivy is already being debated, i bought her mostly for the body and the head isn't doing much for me the more i look at it. i can't shake the feeling that her head is too big in comparison to the heads of my boys, it may be the large eyes but it's irritating. i don't think flock will have that problem since she takes such small eyes, she wears 12mm/14mm eyes so she's similar to my boys. and it goes without saying that if a dolly doesn't mesh with my boys they have to go. i plan on letting ivy stay for a while longer to determine if she's a keeper so if i should send the head on its way.

i don't really have much more to report here. there was some family drama that pissed me off royally and just enforced my ideas about a certain member of my family but i rather not dwell on the unpleasant.

my bust is put together in art class. it wasn't really hard to get to this point but the process of preparing the clay was tiring. it's heavy and since my hands are small it take me a long time to work it so that it is ready to be formed. since the majority of that class is female, there were a lot of grumblings in that vein. everyone noted with disdain how shortly the males in the class got their clay ready and had their busts formed. but mine is ready to have eye-sockets installed, so i'm happy about that.

in my painting class i've been suffering from lack of inspiration. i think it comes from going to class and panicking when i look at my blank canvas. i also have problems with the lack of seclusion the class has but this was quickly remedied by installing myself in the corner, where i couldn't be approached unawares. sometimes preparing for that class feels like i'm getting ready to be hunted but that's my anxiety for ya.

i really need to take life drawing and drawing 2. i know i won't enjoy those classes as much as painting but i know that i with learn so much. i wish that i would have been able to build a stronger art foundation when i was younger. i had always been interested in art but never encouraged. i think i would be so much farther ahead than i am now.


ol' blue hair

my hair is back to being vibrant again and this time i went for blues, i needed something that was going to cover and i didn't want to have to bleach a lot to get the base i needed for oranges and yellows so i settled on blue. the roots and bottom layers are 'shocking blue' and the tips are, 'atomic turquoise,' both are manic panic colors. KidTerror should be pleased since his favorite hair color on me is blue.

next time i may go purple, or do something drastic with bleach and go neon green or something, it's a fair option since i already have the color handy. yesterday when i colored i counted 12 individual colors not including a few natural tones that i had handy......addiction much? i think so, good thing it's not too harmful since i'm careful and have experience.

currently i'm really into the idea of neon colors so i may opt for one of those next and forgo jewel tones, for a while.

i love rambling about my hair~

***btw, i didn't cut my hair, most of it is just pulled back...


wicked little thing

umm........YAY! my first dollmore girl came in today! she has alot of personality and i loved her the second i put eyes in her. she is called Ivy and i think she's my spoiled rich girl but who knows for now.....

i love her disdainful little face! and i can't wait for my flocke!!!

in addition to my new doll i also received yarn in the mail, but i won't show you any pictures of that since it's not dyed yet.

some hair news to come later this evening or tomorrow....


little pieces of happiness

i feel better today but i think that's largely due to the fact that it's friday and that i'm rested. i don't have much to ramble on about but i do have some pictures that i'd like to share.

my engagement ring ^^, it's still not sized but it's really pretty and it means i'm another step closer to being hitched to KidTerror, yay!

some hello kitty stuff from my backpack, i don't think there's enough *tee hee* on the left is a compact and the right hand side has a little tin with mints (both gifts from KidTerror). i just thought that they were something cute to post.

and since i already shared some hello kitty love here's some tokidoki for you. i really love the little candle guy, he's a candidate for a tattoo, although i would make the flame green and possibly make the skull a kitty skull so it would be more personalized.

here's one of my newest acquisitions from sallys. i had been wanting some neon colors to round out my nail polish spectrum and i'm pretty happy with these. the only things that i'm a little meh with is that the polish requires alot of coats to be opaque and it's not a high gloss polish. other than that the colors are pretty keen, my nail are the green at the moment .

and here's a teaser pic of some knitting and a ball of yarn i've dyed. it's two strands of lace weight combined for a thin fingering weight yarn. it's nice to have some knitting around.

here are some pots that i did in an art class about a year ago. i had left them in the kiln room and since my prof was doing a clean-up there i thought that i should rescue them. i love them both and they are were really fun the make, i like the one on the left the most but the other one is also quite charming. i'm going to try and get them glazed this semester but i don't want to take away from the patterns...hmmm we'll see ^^

that's all for today. i'm waiting on doll parts and ready for the weekend...


crumminess with a touch of mental malaise

i never re-read my posts, for me it feels taboo and the thought of doing so makes me uncomfortable. i prefer not to recall things i've written and done. acknowledgment for just about anything feels like being ambushed.

i feel worn out and angry bleh. i thought about blogging about it decided not to.

kisses KidTerror<3<3<3<3

maybe a change of hair will make me feel better.....that or murder, or drugs, or dare i say it, hookers?

meh nix all that....here's a picture of lucan....

even though he's just a hunk of plastic i love him <3



first of all, this week feels like it's dragging on and i'm ready for the weekend and sleeping late so i wish it would hurry up!

right now i'm sitting at work, everything has been done and since there's nothing to do this is the time when i normally do my homework, and being the good student i am (<- working on it) i have all my math homework, notes and book ready to go. all that would be wonderful and i would happily work on my math homework but me being the dumb-ass i am left my calculator at home *le sigh* sometimes i wish my responsible side would give the ditzy side of me a stern talking to and maybe rough her up, but knowing her she'd probably just forget about it the next day....

in other news, i'm proud to say that i attended both my art classes! for some that's not saying much but for me it's a pretty dig deal. it's not like i dislike my major it's just that being squished into a tiny studio with people who i don't know (rude people) is really uncomfortable to say the least. luckily i was able to expel all my rage and anxiety towards my clay which is now nicely wedged and ready to work up on friday.

turns out that the first project in sculpture is a bust and i don't mean breasts and a torso like many people have speculated, contains only (in this case) the shoulders and head. i'm a little frightened of this project but i'm going to try to pay attention and make sure that i have an idea of what i'm doing before i go off and mess something up.

since i managed to go to painting as well i was a little surprised to see that nearly everyone favors a realistic style of painting figures. i know that is what a limited art program like mine stresses but in a class where there's not lesson plans and free-paint is always the assignment, it was hard to believe that no one had really taken on a style or did things outside of the norm. that's not to say that there weren't any people that deviated from normal human proportions but they were a small population indeed.

i also noted that although that class is large: most of the people don't show up and the ones that do are very quiet so it's a pretty peaceful place once i put in my earbuds and tune out all noise. i think as long as i keep my mp3 player handy and make sure to stake out a good spot each day i won't have any problems. if my prof. starts making assignments then i may change my mind....

still rambling about painting......i started another painting today and i HATE it! while the color combination POPS well the composition leaves alot to be desired....i made the mistake of going to class with a blank canvas instead of planning and sketching at home before bringing it to class. that's something that i do to myself often, but this time i'll blame it on being busy and having a cluttered workspace....

blabbing on, i can't hold on to painting ideas for shit. it really is pretty bad but i've been knocking around the idea of an octopus girl (KidTerror would be excited if he read this). she would be all human but have the octopus and its tentacles function as her hair/hat...eh it's all i bit muddled but it's something that i've been knocking around for a while (think 6+ months), i don't think i've attempted it because i'm worried that i won't be able to get it to look right or people will just look and say "what's that?" meh who knows i may attempt it this semester when i have a few more paintings done that i feel fine with.

doll news~~~ my flocke head shipped! i didn't even noticed because i've been so busy but i'm pretty excited, i also made the second payment for my isaac girl and can't wait to work on them and get them ready for DoA. these will be my first girls from dollmore and i really think that they will work out, although the isaac head is the only one that i'm the tiniest bit iffy about, but i'm sure with the right face, name, wig, eyes, and clothes that she'll be much loved like Lucan and Panda(monium).

since i'm all over the place as usual, i'm dyeing my hair again this weekend! my roots are horrid looking so i'll have to re-bleach and then re-color. i don't know what color i'll be next. the pinks from 'beyond the zone' sucked the big one when i used them so i'm tempted to just chunk out those colors since i didn't like them and don't plan on going pink anytime soon (sorry carrie but it washing me out bad). other colors i have considered are teal, orange, and purple. come to think of it all those colors sound pretty sweet so i'll most likely just pick at random when i make a trip to sallys. random gripe but the sallys girls all look at me like i'm crazy when i go buy bleach and color, i always get the, "don't you know this damages your hair?" and, "do you know how to use these?" both those questions annoy me. yes ma'am i do know this is damaging to my hair but your poorly drawn on eyebrows and lip hair hurt me so i would appreciate it if you keep your dumb comments to yourself. yeah i'm not so mean as to say that but some days it is something that crosses my mind....MORE RANT, and you would think they would remember me i'm in there at least twice a month and have a sallys card and inquire often about products but hey some people are just as observant as cattle......meh.

damn my posts are long these days....um kitty niles you hooker you promise to read but comments i do not see.....and carrie i hope i get to see the occasional post from you (they always brighten my day) and thank you for recommending Margaret and Helen


interesting kinda bad day...

today has been odd. the entire day i've felt like the entire world is vibrating, it's a feeling that's i notice in my vision and in my hearing (sounds like a dull buzzing). i don't like it, i've also felt nauseous =_='' and being super nervous and busy hasn't helped it (i went to both of my art classes and made conversation with someone in the last one XD).

work has been tiring, even though everyone is asleep, and i've finished all my work stuff i don't feel like i can be at piece, i think it comes from having an odd morning and going to all my classes. i don't even feel up to doing some art homework and looking over tomorrows math lesson....

days when i'm busy and out of the house make me LONG to be home. i love feeling safe and secure amongst all my belongings and KidTerror; i think i've come to like staying home too much....

although i started off last week with a sunny disposition, a full day of art class kinda killed that for me. i hate feeling angry at all the people around me for no reason, it's ridiculous and rude. i tend to automatically categorize people and it sucks, it affects all aspects of my life and i wish it was a switch i could turn off. i don't consider myself hateful but i can and do think hateful thoughts. i guess it's a positive sign that i recognize that thinking ill of people for no reason is wrong but some days i have a hard time drawing the line between snarky (humorous) and mean. it really upsets KidTerror and i'm just recently noticing how much i do it.

bleh this post is really a downer.....let's see something positive.....meh i think getting to see KidTerror in a few hours is it for now....



heh heh heh yarn

i bought some bare yarn from knit picks, 3 sock blanks and 2 superwash worsted skeins.

i never like to buy colored yarn, because once i realized i could dye it myself i never wanted to do anything else (funny how my yarn dyeing and my hair coloring is similar).

i can't wait til my order comes in! although KidTerror may not enjoy me doing yet another crazy thing with highly concentrated pigments ^^"

excited <3

*tsk tsk*

i was thinking about how i claim to be a knitter, and sadly realized that i hardly ever knit anymore. i only note it with sadness because it's something i find really relaxing and enjoyable as well as useful. i also re-visited the yarnharlot and it made me even more sad, i used to keep up with every post she put up and i don't think that i ever visited it this past year.

in fact i can't really remember the last time i finished a project...(although i am very close to finishing a scarf)...i also don't visit ravelry often, and the last time i did i didn't do much besides look at my inbox and then log back out again.

i imagine this absence from the knitting world can be largely attributed to my lack of free-time, my full-time job, and my ever growing obsession with my dolls, not to mention that the local yarn availability leaves much to be desired (i'm looking at you flying needle, you bunch of quilting old biddies! ha ha ha i won't even get started on your overpriced are supplies!).

all this random talk about knitting is due to the fact that i really want to get back in that hobby. with all the stress that i'm dealing with this semester and the constant stress of work, i want to reclaim a little bit of my sanity and i think that knitting would be a wonderful outlet to do so.

so to cut this short, i'm going to go buy some yarn on the internet <3 <3 <3


disparagingly divine doll deals demand direction

i had planned on ranting about work this evening but i re-thought it and decided that it was best left alone, but i do have more dolly news!

i currently have two dollmore girls coming in! and both of them were cheap because i was able to to partial trades for some doll parts that i already had! i had been worried that i would never get rid of my modded MOMO boy and had pretty much given up on selling him when a trade for a girl body for a boy body came up, it was so exciting once i was able to make the trade. i feel like i'm ready to have a girl doll, i love my boys but it's time that my house got some resin va-jay-jays to stop the resin sausage fest lol.

i was content after i found someone to trade with and was ok with marking just the head now even more for a quick sale. it was all going as planned until i saw another dollmore girl go up for sale and i decided to ask for a partial trade on a whim and it was accepted! so i currently have two female dolls waiting to come to my house.

after all the drama and stress lately, it's nice to get the opportunity to expand my collection at a prices that is more than reasonable and that rids me of doll parts that i don't want. the only trouble i think i'll have is planning faces, wardrobes, and personalities for these girls. not to mention names!

i haven't even decided on coloration for them, i have a few spare wigs, eyes, and clothing lying around so i'll make do until i can save up some more cash for some proper items for them.

i know my hobby seems really materialist but i don't really care, my dolls give me great joy and customizing them and playing with them is relaxing. it's also nice to have little art models around the house that don't complain or need to eat. they also connect with all the other hobbies and interests i have so i never really feel guilty about purchasing one, i say if you enjoy it you should indulge yourself. you will only live once (no matter what religious person tells you =_=) so you should enjoy things while you can!

meandering a little off the doll topic but not quite....i really want to get a tattoo soon, i know that i shouldn't rush into something like that but i feel an odd persistent desire to get one. i'm not really motivated by anything, so just having the feeling that i should go do that is strange.

odd compulsion i know ^^"

on the subject of tattoos, and going back to abjd's, i would really love a doll related tattoo. i think it would be something that is not only representative of my hobby, but feminine and quirky. those are two adjectives that i really like, now if it were "clever" i would have already been sold on it.

i'm of the mindset that i just don't want the tattoos i get to be pretty or cool but to mean things to me. i want them to be reminders of things that i cherish and things i have accomplished. this is not to say that i think that people that get them just because they like a cool design are silly or stupid, i just want the ink that i get to be highly representational of my personality and my interests. it may be vain but a small amount of personal hubris is to be encouraged, but if i start walking around with a big head, i'll appreciate being knocked down a few notches ^^.

my blog posts feel so manic and scattered, but since i do them just for fun i'm not really bothered. it is a relaxing activity that at times keeps me sane.

off to listen to some empire of the sun and play puzzle quest <3

yeah my nerd-ness is vast <3 <3 <3 <3


redbull cola and twizzlers

second day of class was rampant with HORRIBLE-NESS! to be honest i only went to my first class, it only took that one class to freak me out. but the freak-out and the misdirected anger at KidTerror made me see that my behavior wasn't normal.

i don't normally publicize my issue but i think that blogging about them could be cathartic. we'll see.

in case you were unaware i have issues with social anxiety and at times depression. those problems coupled with low self-esteem and a high level of stress at work and in school don't make me function very well. all the problems i mentioned have been things that i have struggled with for as long as i can remember. i've never really been secure in my sense of self and it has kept me from many opportunities and relationships. since being with KidTerror i've come to see that it is a legitimate problem that needs to be addressed. it's not something that i can ignore or make jokes about and it didn't even hit home until recently when i saw how it was straining things with KidTerror.

i had been selfish and taking my negative emotions out on him. once we talked about it (after i had been an ass-hat) i felt awful naturally and it hit home but it didn't really take root until today when i lashed out at him again.

although i flirted with the idea of seeking help last semester when i started seeing a therapist at school, it didn't really stick and i stopped going. i didn't trust who i was seeing and the trouble of seeing someone else was too stressful to really execute.

this time i'm going to seek some medical solution even though i have an aversion to any medical inference in my life. it's not that i'm against seeking medical help it's just dealing with the steps leading up to seeing the doctor that make me anxious, although i don't like the actual visits either.

assuming i get my financial aid appeal, i will continue to attend class. i thought about taking some time off but i know getting further behind in school will only stress me further. i also don't like the idea that i'm keeping KidTerror and i from moving on to better things and places.

this semester will be about me getting things together, i will finish my math requirements, get my P.E. credit, work on my art and work on myself all while working full-time and doing my absolute best to show KidTerror how much i love him. it's a pretty tall order to fill but i don't want to give up, i do that too often and i don't want to be beaten. my desire to win at life is pretty strong and i'm tenacious, when need be, so i think it's doable even though it will be extremely difficult.


bleh to all that drama, and onto sunnier topics!

although the massive amount of students in my sculpture class make me nervous and even more withdrawn i am excited about the projects. three projects are required, an additive piece done in class, a subtractive piece in wood or plaster, and a collection piece that will be compiled with the material of the artists choosing.

for my first piece i want to try and sculpt something that has several individual components that come together like a puzzle. it's a pretty difficult thing to construct when the material i will be working with is clay. i'm worried that i won't get the precise fit of the pieces that i need once the pieces shrink in the kiln. i suppose i could create a hollow shape and before the clay is dry cut my shapes out but i want my piece to be more complex than a cookie-cutter idea like that. it will be something that i'll have to work out with the clay itself. although the exact design is up in the air i know that i want each individual part of the sculpture to have a different color glaze. i'm excited to try and work out what i want. the other idea i have is to create faces with clay using a styrofoam head as a type of dress form in which to built upon. i feel like that was explained well but i would be covering the head in saran wrap and then removing the face after the clay had hardened some, kind of like making a garment of clothing on a dress form. after i had a collection of faces i would probably use them in a kinetic piece like a mobile, or as parts of my final project.

i'm less enthusiastic about the subtractive project since i don't have any experience there other than making a print block in high school. i don't even know what material i would like to work with and i'm slightly scared about injuring myself with the carving tools. i'm going to try and stay open to the new medium and who knows i may really like it.

since my final project is a collection of items i need to start thinking of items that would be suitable and i've come up with the idea of creating a figure around an armature that is made up of crocheted and knitted fine wire. i thought of this because i would like my figure to be female and i think that using the fine wire as a cloth would hold feminine curves better and showcase my materials in an interesting way. i think the feminine subject and the way in which the sculpture is constructed will have a nice contrast with the wire. a feminine/masculine contrast that i think would be pleasing and representational of what i want to achieve in that class and how i want to be perceived. it will be the first time i do something of that nature so i really want to nail the execution. other details are still up in the air, such as adding organs or clothing and the type of wire to use, but i'm sure i'll decide before the end of the semester gets here.

since i didn't go to my painting studio class i don't really have much to say other than i want to improve my painting skills and test out oils in my free-time. i need to stop letting my lack of ability to create what i see in my mind from keeping me from improving my skills. if i can work towards the goal of painting often i know that i can improve my skills and become more confident in my art.

this will mean coming to class everyday, accepting criticism, working with my professors, and not stopping working when i encounter a harsh word directed at my art or when something doesn't come out quite right. like everything it will be hard but i'm ready to commit to to my role as an artist and an art student. who knows i may even post more things here ^^

sorry for the wordy-ness, it's been a hard day but i'm not giving up! dollface kisses to all who read, i know you are a tiny bunch but it's greatly appreciated <3

P.S. forgive any mistakes, i really didn't care to re-read this post, writing it was enough!


real world injection

working full-time and going to school at the same time is not something i recommend if you can avoid it. today was the first day back and i'm already exhausted, but i'm optimistic about the semester, the spring always feels so hopeful; i want to keep this feeling going until the summer.

i'm taking a math course, sculpture studio, painting studio, and a wellness course. everything promises to be manageable although i know just keeping up with everything and going to class will be the most difficult part. i'm also happy to note that i have the same math prof as last semester! he's a great teacher who is really invested in his students; for some students i would imagine that would be annoying but i find it touching and it makes me want to do better. i'm kinda a sucker for teachers that care, i thinks that's why i like my adviser so much; she's pretty dingy but she's honest with me, helps me out of university drama, and is encouraging without being fake, she also rocks bitchin' cat sweaters lol.

i have discovered two energy drinks that i don't hate, arizona green tea energy drink and redbull cola. i was pretty skeptical about both of them but they were so cheap at biglots that KidTerror and i bought them all!!! we tend to go a bit crazy in that store but it's to be expected when there are so many awesome bargains.

i'm happy to announce that the dolly sausage-fest in my house is coming to a close! i am trading the boy body i have for a girl one and i just bought a head from dollmore. you can see the head here, i would like to note that my flocke will not be blond. i plan on giving her a black wig and her eyes will have to come from my eye-bag since i'm trying not to buy a lot of dolly stuff until i can sell one of the dolls i have for sale. i really love flocke's sullen little face, although i didn't see the potential the sculpt had until this limited doll. i had planned on getting panda's bf's head next or lucan's girlfriend but the trade worked out so well that i had to scoop up the opportunity. i'm also proud to say that i didn't go crazy on the dollmore site either, all the head is coming with will be a pair of boots and a wig, and i hope i get some freebies.

this weekend cannot get here fast enough! i plan on being as lazy as possible and catching up on sleep.

bleh that's all i have for now, i'm ready to see what tomorrows classes will bring!

P.S. i love you KidTerror!!!

EDIT: not finishing that meme *tee hee*


days five and six

ha ha well i totally missed a day doing this meme but i'm gonna make up for the lost time.

Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
1. kept dating someone even though i knew it wasn't what i wanted.
2. cut my hair off.
3.been lazy with school-work.
4. stopped talking to some people.
5. quitting a job (i once quit working somewhere even though i didn't have another job lined up...)
6. every fight that KidTerror and i have had.

Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
1. KidTerror
2. my twin sister
3. my dad
4. my mammi
5. my step-mom

yeah! i'm all caught up, huzzah! AND i finished my student aid crap for now since my adviser decided not to be available before school starts. AND i painted some today. all this activity can be contributed to the fact that KidTerror woke me up this morning, no sleep monster today, although i'm already starting to get sleepy....meh that's what energy drinks are for ^^

BEHOLD! an hours worth of painting, it's ten different kinds of suck but i like it.


day four

oooh~ shiny new blog layout ^^ the background image is mine, it's a crappy painting i did XD so don't judge, i like it because it's green =_="

Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

1. worrying about money, i have a fulltime job but i still constantly stress over finances and i worry that i'll never get to retire.
2. doll plans, i like to collect dolls according to a structured plan.
3. KidTerror, he's always on my mind <3
4. whether or not i should stick with being an art major.
5. moving out of texas or to a different country.
6. making time to relax.
7. cats, yes, cats. i really want one but have developed an allergy due to not having one for a long time.

ahh this weekend has been nice. i'm currently relaxing in my pj's with a lime vanilla coke and the internet so all is well. i checked out my art books last night and they have alot of things to spark my interest in them so i may get motivated and paint today if not then i'm not really bothered, i like to take my time. i really like the new blog layout, i think it's much more "me." it's very green, which i love and more eye-catching than the last one i had. not much right now other than speculating about painting and being lazy. here's some pics of my boys though ^^




day three

i'm so glad it's the weekend....this past week felt like it would never end. despite the financial aid drama that i found out about on thursday, i've had a pretty good weekend and spent the day with my sister and Ace (<--long time friend). i even bought some art related books to get some creative action going but who knows if that will do the trick XP

i'm continuing the meme that i stole from another blog ^^

Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

1. make me laugh, i'm easily amused so this isn't hard but it's a must.
2. encourage my hobbies, i love that KidTerror is supportive in my doll hobby and my knitting hobby, it makes it more fun to have someone be supportive.
3. don't rush me, it only makes me angry.
4. be supportive when i'm in a mood, it happens just be prepared to deal with it.
5. be genuine, because i can spot fake people a mile away.
6. have your own interests and opinions, jumping in on all the things i like is creepy.
7. don't let me stay in a funk, my moods don't dissipate they just fester like something infected if left unattended.
8. don't play mind-games, it's not very trustworthy and it's cruel.


sleepy...DAY TWO

i'm going to continue with this list.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself:

1. i never really wanted to get married until i met KidTerror.
2. i love collecting abjd's and think it's a really great hobby to have.
3. i have a hair coloring addiction, it's hard for me to keep one color for any longer than 2 months.
4. i'm a horrible dresser although i love to dress my dolls.
5. i'm on a quest to find an energy drink that i don't hate.
6. i think religion is stupid and detrimental.
7. i have an intense love/hate relationship with art.
8. i knit but not as much as i should.
9. i am nearly always grumpy.

meh i'm tired and that's all i really have to say XP


interesting, me thinks...DAY ONE

i found something that i thought would be fun to do and that would get me posting more and since it gets my mind off of the recent financial aid drama that has popped up with tarleton yet again....

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.

here goes:

1. i feel bad that i never see you, and every time that i get to i'm reminded of this and it's sad. sometimes i think that i don't even really have a reason not to, it just kinda ends up that way. but i'm going to try and make more time to come see you, since we have something new in common.
2. i know this is odd coming from me but you need to get out there and meet some ladies, maybe have a few one-nighters, i normally wouldn't say that but as i know you longer the more i want to get you outta your funk!
3. i don't think we can ever really exist in harmony, you've made me mad and hurt me many times and never said sorry so i'm going to be over here doing my thing and i would rather you keep to your side and do yours.
4. we should talk more, i know we're both busy but after a certain period of not seeing you i think that excuse falls flat, that being said yay for us making plans this saturday!
5. don't be afraid of offending people or saying what you feel, i know i'm not one to talk but i wish you'd stand up more for yourself and value yourself more.
6. yeah i'm probably overacting about the falling out we had but i refuse to be the bottom of the barrel for you, if i'm friends with someone i don't want to be the one they talk to as a last resort. that's insulting and really revealing of how you viewed our relationship.
7. i'm sorry i make you worry and that i don't visit enough. i do think of you everyday though and i'm always out to make you proud.
8. i'm so happy with the life changes you've had this past year! i'm happy to see you with someone who understands you and let's you be the vibrant, creative, snarky, and kind person you are.
9. i have no excuse not to come and see you weekly, i'm going to try and work on that since we always have fun together.
10. thank you so much for putting up with me. i know that sounds crude and uninspired but i know it's alot of work and i appreciate it everyday. i love that we're best friends.

and because dolly spam is always permissible, here's some Panda(monium)


this new year feels the same as the old XD

i'm not feeling the new year so far but i think that has to do with how much a drank on new years and how i've been made to come to work early too many times to count in the past two weeks....

ahh a new year, it really doesn't mean much for me but i do like that it's another year that i'll be with Kid Terror (i hope to have MANY more years with him) although he told me recently that i seem to be a person that would die first....yeah....but it did make me laugh so i guess he's doing his part to keep me alive for a while.

many people make new years resolutions (that they rarely keep) so mine are more like vague wishes: i want to keep growing out my hair (currently working on that one), i want to acquire some more dolls (need to sell some stuff first), those are the only actual things since the others are more vague, hooray for the ambiguity queen! the other things are mostly about school and how i need to settle on a career path. i'm currently art but have thought about going to the special education route (although i'm afraid of burnout, i'm currently experiencing a bit of that with my job, so i don't know if making a career out of it would be the best bet).

keeping in tradition with random organizational style i like to keep while blogging, i refreshed my hair last night. it's a lovely shade of red that makes my roots blend better. i also learned to keep my brand loyalty, manic panic can't compare to any other alternative hair color i've used and i don't intend to stray for quite some time.

jumping back to the new year crap, i would like to get a tattoo (or more than one) this year. i consider this a pretty big goal due to the fact that i am notoriously picky, but i think once i get my first one any others won't be hard to think up.

bleh that's all i feel like doing, i'm sleepy from coming into work early and feel lazy =_=''